Despondent

From the concrete pavement where I am sitting the setting sun casts its last rays of warmth on the earth.
The fiery red sky blinds and mesmerizes all who observes its majesty but yet it cannot blind me from the
memories of the recent battle fought. Men piling up in heaps on the ground, screams of orders and motivation.
Like dead zombies the heap of bodies rise to fight again, once again charging into the foray to secure the sacred
possession:the ball. I could see hesitation on the faces of those emerald clad warriors. Fear, despair, and failure
stared them in the face. Today they did not rise to the challenge.

Beads of sweat rolled down my forehead as I watched from the sidelines. With clenched fists and a great anger
in my heart, I watched. I wanted to go in and change everything, my muscles were throbbing from the adrenaline
rush. But in my heart I knew why I wasn't out there in the first place. Despair and desperation swept me when
the team was first announced. I didn't come here to warm the bench. I didn't come here to become part of the
weakest team in history. I didn't come here to let some fucking white expatriate bastards whip my team n I. No.
I came here to don the emerald jersey to win. But yet I knew I was not up to the task, not yet. I was sorely lacking
in fitness, a fact i sorely regret. I WANT TO BE PART OF THE FIRST FIFTEEN. The road ahead is long and dark,
but light is at the end of the tunnel...if i run and keep running until i find it. Fitness that is the light, a small part of it at least.




posted by Down the rabbit hole we go. at Thursday, January 30, 2003

hug from behind - you like to feel what the other person is feeling and see things how they see them. you tend to be serious and emotional
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posted by Down the rabbit hole we go. at Tuesday, January 28, 2003