a pleasant surprise on a nice bright and sunny sunday morning. had a long distance call from the cat in the land of freedom. could tell that he has changed a lot, his ideals and way of thinking has taken on quite a lot of molding but deep down i think he's still the same old cat. yeah the cat who blew up my microwave oven when he tried to melt cheddar cheese. heh. as always cat had a few wise words of wisdom for me. i shouldn't let others get me down, my dream is my own private property and i can't let others take it away from me. i have to be myself, yes the person with fire & drive, the one who knows what he wants. my ideals are my own. you muthafuckin admin and f-ed up tutors can't take it away from me. you can't kill who i am and subordinate me to your pathetic system. i will be me & i will know what i want out of all this. a time for rest and reflection is needed. some people are just born to inspire.

99 dreams I have had
In every one a red balloon
It's all over and I'm standin' pretty
In the dust that was a city
If I could find a souvenier
Just to prove the world was here...
And here it is, a red balloon
I think of you and let it go.
Goldfinger - 99 red balloons

posted by Down the rabbit hole we go. at Saturday, October 18, 2003

the singing the chants the screams the euphoria. looks like today was the first time i actually felt that life wasn't all that dull and sucky. England defeated a battling Springboks team 25-6. every effective run by cohen and the others were met by cheers and every single penalty wilkinson took were also accompanied by screams of "go johnny!" the atmosphere was just immense. the expatriates are really passionate about it. sitting at father flanagan's with the guys in my england jersey was fun. i miss rugby. i've got to get back to it fast....went to chiong sizzler with gabriel too...apart from that the day was pretty much sucky. -yawn- what can i say? jc parties are gay. i want to go to chinablack with some friends on our own soon. think i should give thomas a call sometime soon too. dear angel sent down from heaven, where are you?

posted by Down the rabbit hole we go. at Saturday, October 18, 2003

Marconi plays the mamba listen to the radio
Don't you remember
We built this city we built this city on rock an' roll
We built this city we built this city on rock an' roll
Built this city we built this city on rock an' roll
- Starship "We built this city"



posted by Down the rabbit hole we go. at Friday, October 17, 2003

its over. well almost, left econs mcq. still i do't feel any elation of jubilation set in. it feels the same - stale. feelings have just seemed to drift out of my being. no euphoria, no grief - absolute nothing. the status quo is never broken. the cynic looks on unfazed by everything that is happening. uninterested even. what happened to all that idealism that he once beheld? the foundation of iron will remains, but the sparks of ideals are dead - crushed by harsh realities that hit him like hard knock out blows. is reality something you perceive or is it what you touch feel smell and taste? reality is cruel. reality is pain. reality is truth. reality is not an image which you can paint. reality is not perceived. you're wrong. i taste it, i feel it, i face it everyday. and it sure as hell ain't sweet. maybe one day it will be. but now it sure as hell ain't. one day.....the cynic continues to live in hope that someday,something will happen, and maybe someone will come and rescue him from the pained cynicism imbued into his soul by the harsh realities that batter him with each and every passing day.

in the meanwhile, realities and dreams continue to battle in his mind. the victim is the mind. reality: maths wasn't too good. i swear for every single paper i have taken to date. today was the best. every question was punctuated by verbal outbursts of a diverse mixture of hokkien and english vulgarities. everyone heard, even the invigilator. but does he care? not anymore. there was a time when they weren't an intergral part of his speech, once in a while he lapses back into those phases. but most of the time his every sentence is filled with an f l or j word. reflections of a pained psych? maybe?
dream: reading photograph books of the golden gate bridge and prague. its hard to believe that such a wonderful and beautiful world actually exists out there when every day you face the monotony of an existance you survive through the pain that reminds you that you're not living the same day again. can the sky actually have so many different shades of colour? can the same place be seen in so many different ways? can architecture be so beautiful and unique? can it be? it used to seem to be the reality. for now it seems like a dream. no. dreams don't come true. most of the time they fall apart. maybe one day it won't be like that. maybe someone or something will make it ok. but for now...its back to the status quo.

posted by Down the rabbit hole we go. at Thursday, October 16, 2003

derived demand derived supply and all that crap right??? i look at siva we're both stunned. now why the fuck didn't i think of that. i hate the way we learn econs, its all nonsense. -bleah- playing touch helped to relieve the stress some what...i'm treating this whole promo shit damn lightly. i just might live to regret it. anyway what's going through my head are not all those useless graphs and shit. if there's 2 things that i cannot forget from the weekend its the French 8-9-15 classic manuver...brilliant executed....now if only we could do that...it would be damn cool... and hmmmz..caucau's wonder try when he stepped the french winger and fullback...i'm itching to play...haven't played in a damn long time. at the least touch and all this playing around in my imagination and the people going through the shit with me is making this easier to live with.

posted by Down the rabbit hole we go. at Tuesday, October 14, 2003

Nothin's wrong
just as long as
you know that someday I will

Someday, somehow
gonna make it allright but not right now
I know you're wondering when
(You're the only one who knows that)
Someday - Nickleback

i'd bleed just to know i'm alive. the pain helps to ease the mind.

posted by Down the rabbit hole we go. at Monday, October 13, 2003

the mtv of "Someday" by nickleback is really nice....i just luv it.

take you a course, get you a place
observe his honour or his grace
or the King's recall or his stamped face
contemplate, what you will approve,
so you will let me love. J.D



posted by Down the rabbit hole we go. at Sunday, October 12, 2003