life's a piss wait is it ?

maybe cause i got up on the wrong side of bed this morning ...or maybe its because of the irritating sms that came in at 8am...i was pissed off...and what made it worse was the sight of my new computer without a new monitor instead i had to put up with a 6 year old piece of junk. oh not to mention my polo club wallet in the wash. JIBAI. so i rushed out of the house before getting into a quarrel with my mum. went to heeren and bought myself a new wallet... den ate lunch at cine.. spent an hour just stoning there before going to spe for safsa training. its good experience lar i think i can learn a lot from the players there. the legends. there's a game against combined schools tomorrow
looking forward to it. just hope i get to play. aniwae had dinner at cine foodcourt again hahaz den sat there tok kok with e j3s n j4s...zihon was around for awhile too.. seems like life in RJ never changes. hahaz. oh wellz...see maybe life isn't such a piss anyway




posted by Down the rabbit hole we go. at Friday, June 13, 2003

i have a muscle strain in the pecs... a setback..a hindrance... its driving me insane. i shouldn't be slacking around. i wish life was about friends and weights. sigh from today onwards i'll remember all the small things like people's birthdays. friends are e most important part of life. gee you can't do weights unless you have a friend to spot for u
i'm going to use hydroxycut and protein... i am obsessed... and why shouldn't i be? *shrug* its getting to my head. i cannot stand being a walking blob of fat



posted by Down the rabbit hole we go. at Wednesday, June 11, 2003

these are the days.

holidays are for chilling out manz. and i gotta admit i have been chilling out despite the worry of the long overdue book review at the back of my head. i'll do it tomorrow morning...promise *cross fingers* monday had lunch with e ruggers and played some pool den met the class for bowling for columbine. fixed up my new com yesterday waiting for the cable to come next week. chilled out with weiming at e gym and pool today before going to orchard to slack. bought stupid cow yaxin's birthday present. ( yes u dumb cow i am poor and broke u better appreciate it ) seems like the days are just passing me by...ahhh feels so good... but i feel so fAt... gotta work out more liaoz...and study too =(


posted by Down the rabbit hole we go. at Wednesday, June 11, 2003

hug from behind - you like to feel what the other
person is feeling and see things how they see
them. you tend to be serious and emotional.


What Sign of Affection Are You?
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posted by Down the rabbit hole we go. at Monday, June 09, 2003

looking for something that lasts......

i've been thinking about this for a long time. its the kind of revelation you get after observing everything that goes around you and the way you do things.
the conclusion is that i go for items and relationships that last. for items, i've always chosen the best in quality, those that last the longest and are the most durable.
take for example, computers and laptops. i bought my laptop 2 years ago...and now its nearing the end of its lifespan, but despite being quite an antique its still in pretty good condition and can probably last a year or 2 more. well it was the top of the line when i bought it, that's why. now look at the PC. my mum fixed it up, ok she got her techie to fix it up. well up to today i still think he cheated our money cause he fixed up a real lousy one that hardly lasted 3 mths. piece of junk. well *shrug* i warned u mum, just din want to listen to me. =P hope this time i get a greater say in setting up the com so that it'll last 3 years instead of 3 mths.

now moving on to a more serious matter on relationships. hmmmz...friendships first. maybe some people might think i'm not that socialable when i go for camps and all that monkey crap, well not surprising since these relations are short termed and barely last. it applies to orientation groups too. well the only guy from my OG that i am quite close to is ivan maulala and maybe daniel. and i know i've never been very friendly with all those ppl in church camps and all when i was younger. but if its for more long lasting relations such as teammates and classmates i'll do my best to make it something that will last. like really get to know them and spend time with them and all. the pre u seminar was different in a sense that i could get along with some of those guys pretty well so i guess its something that'll last. ppl like david, mervyn, dean, auntie, alien just to mention a few. i look at some of my friends and i just wonder. they're so...enthu durin the actual event but when it eventually comes to really having a long last relationship they just falter or don't try. and for some they don't even try to spend time with teammates and classmates who are the most important people in their JC lives. *shrug* just scary to wonder if 5 years down the road these people are still ur friends.

bgrs...well this is the tricky one. maybe one reason why i haven't been into an actual serious relationship is because i'm scared it won't last. *sigh* i'm not looking for a fling. i'm trying to find something that's real and lasting. but the problem is i don't know how i'll know if it will be like that. i really don't know and i wonder if i should take the risk and find out. it goes more than looks. it has to be character, aspirations, dreams, interests, beliefs. i find it easier at times to just hide behind the guy facade of being a dumb jock. doing weights, training, studying, chilling out with normal friends. just something to hide behind, away from the unknown being from venus known as woman/girl. but hide. how long can i hide? how long can i avoid taking the risk? i really don't know. i don';t want a fling. i want something that lasts. but its hard to find someone and know that she's the one. its hard. really hard. its always a question mark to me. maybe cause i look too far ahead and forgo a bit of the present. i don't know. i think i'll just take it slowly and spend most of my time hiding behind that "shield", occasionally poking my head out from the shell to see if its really going to be something that can be built to last. i hope you're really the one.




posted by Down the rabbit hole we go. at Monday, June 09, 2003