i ain't a litte boy anymore
came back from training and was sleeping when mother yanked me out of bed to scold me for coming home late yesterday. like wth? i was sleeping even b4 dad finished watching tv. said some horrible nonsense bout me again, commented on rugby and the way i've come to be. starting from the hair and eventually coming to how i've become some kind of human abomination on a rampage. it dominates my life, correction, it is the fabric of my life. so ma save all that trash talk cause i ain't a little boy anymore. nothing you say or do will pull me away from the preparations for our collison with destiny. ever since that faithful day in may last year, everything was in preparation for this.

posted by Down the rabbit hole we go. at Saturday, March 27, 2004

tomorrow, the raging maverick with the mohawk will lead the charge. dudes time to get the fire burning, passion is what's going to win it for us. it has to start from somewhere and i'll try to be that somewhere. i need to go out there and kill someone. dude i really want to smash someone, do so much weights is for a reason. want to see a blue n yellow cringing in pain and being carried off the field in a stretcher. leong, i don't give a flying fuck if they're your friends i wanna leave one of em screaming & begging for the pain to stop. on the field, conscience doesn't exist.

posted by Down the rabbit hole we go. at Friday, March 26, 2004

i'm going to fail history. period. but i can't seem to care anymore. not now. not yet. not when the season's so near. i feel so lost in my life these days, with my flagging academic performance and mind boggling teenager problems. the only time when i feel in complete control of what's going to happen next is in the weights room and on the rugby field. pure unadulterated power --that is what i aspire to. a human bullet train that seeks to run riot, breaking arms and legs, leaving a trail of destruction behind, in search of glory that would provide me with some solace. arghz. junxiong n e others are right i am an angsty teen that needs some calm in his life, some love maybe. -shrug- at times i just feel incredible, unbreakable and invincible but as i walk away, pleased with myself the vulnerability slowly returns. and it hurts inside. god has sent an angel but i doubt she'll ever be my angel who will heal the hurt and close the wounds of angst. and i'm still thinking of running away to toronto. maybe after the season.

just watched wrestling. cena is my man.


Basic Thuganomics
The raw rhymer, turning legends to old timers
My incisors is like a viper biting through you one liners
New "Dead man Inc." and we about to make you famous
Taking over earth and still kick it in your Anus


posted by Down the rabbit hole we go. at Thursday, March 25, 2004

that photo seemed to trigger something in me. i remember walking through a park, the cold fresh air blowing in my face, the waters of majestic Lake Ontario laid out in front of me, with the Toronto City skyline on the horizon. it just feels so different from singapore, so relaxed and carefree, so much slower. i feel like running away from here, from everything. i have a bank account that reads 1,700 dollars, enough for a 1 way ticket to toronto... where would i stay? the apartment in scarborough avenue? ... bring a couple of books with me. read at night and walk around the city during the day. maybe after a week they'll come to get me. maybe then i'll be ready to face the struggles in singapore again. just maybe.





posted by Down the rabbit hole we go. at Wednesday, March 24, 2004

i'm getting sick of the mp3s playing on my list so these days i listen to my discman. punk rock blasting, reminding me that life ain't that bad. looks like the damage control mechanisms have failed this time, i'm going to fail my Silas Marner essay, wrote the shortest essay in my life, 1 side. yes 1 side. woohoo. 1 side. hopefully Translations will be good and so will the mind boggling PC which thankfully i managed to understand in the end. i guess its fair to say that if you haven't tried you don't deserve anything at all. -shrug- anything man. it ain't the studying season yet.

I'll meet you there
No matter where life takes me to
I'll meet you there
And even if I need you here
I'll meet you there
Simple Plan

posted by Down the rabbit hole we go. at Monday, March 22, 2004

brace yourself. this is probably going to be the worst results you have ever seen in your life. as the stupid common tests & the end draws near, those 2 thoughts continue to play havoc with my mind.

posted by Down the rabbit hole we go. at Sunday, March 21, 2004