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wow i can't believe its this good....
hey manz guess what i think the past 3 days have been some of the best this month....on thursday i watched matrix reloaded with james and some of his classmates from so3k...good stuff good stuff but as usual cAt din understand hahahaz cAt kok Lar....=P took a neoprint not bad everyone looked quite alright in it. on friday i actually went to school..*gasps* well well my ct actually thought i was skipping one day a week for the past 1 month amazing i never realize that... as usual school is damn sian well at least the class is ... with its many divisions and stuff but *shrug* life can still be good ! but my academics is really lagging behind *argh* i better catch up tomorrow..do my essays and do tutorial + assignment 9 and den study for maths lecture test...I CAN DO IT......I WILL... ah well had training in the evening, slacked in the canteen before that. training was slack cause we had to play sajc today. watched james chinese performance at lt1 after that. to tell you the truth his acting is good...really fits into the role...oh and i found out that dom can sing...*shocked*.... went to BK @ holland v with yaxin gillian n terence. someone else was there too but loser me never got up to asking for e number despite talkin to her... it was quite a sad conversation too just said that couldn't go and watch the sajc match. well maybe that's a good thing cause i never did get on to the field until the last few minutes. my game can be summed up in 2 words : one tackle ...ah well we won 6-0. none of e chinese high guys in sa played apart from kevin ang .. it was convincing...we dominated the game but didn't put away our chances -bleah- can't afford to do that in the finals. had dinner @ justin lum's bbq. yum yum and fun fun...took a lift from kenny koh to get home.... gee i can't believe i'm actually lifted out of the depression ! i think it just stems from having something to do...if you have many many things to do you won't be depressed ! especially if they're fun things...yay yay i will finish my work tomorrow and be ready for the new week...no problemo manz... hwachong next wednesday...muhahahahaz...have to prop against jianwei or diyan kaoz hahaz..it'll be fun n we already know who's going to win.....its part of the script. all part of the script. oh yeah about scripts i'm actually going to join the script writing competition after all...gives me 2 months to write a 8000 word script...think i'm goin to write about my life in J1...maybe something about love as a teenager...yeah i think so a synthesis of both.... and it'll be true..btw i have a june holiday resolution to make some minor renovations to my room...have to go ikea sometime soon... song going through my head now..... Girl at the rock show - Blink 182 Hanging out behind the club at the weekend Acting stupid, getting drunk With my best friends I couldn't wait for the summer And the Warped Tour I rememeber It's the first time that I saw her there She's getting kicked out of school 'Cos she's failing I'm kinda nervous 'Cos I think all her friends hate me She's the one, she'll always be there She took my hand and that made it I swear Because I fell in love With the girl at the rock show She said what And I told her that I didn't know She's so cool I'm gonna sneak in through her window Everything's better when she's around I can't wait 'til her parents go out of town I fell in love with the girl at the rock show When we said we were gonna move to Vegas I rememeber the look her mother gave us Seventeen without a purpose or direction We don't owe anyone a f*cking explanation I fell in love with the girl at the rock show She said what And I told her that I didn't know She's so cool Gonna sneak in through her window Everything's better when she's around I can't wait 'til her parents go out of town I fell in love with the girl at the rock show Black and white picture of her on my wall I waited for her call She always kept me waiting And if I ever got another chance I'd still ask her to dance Because she kept me waiting I fell in love with the girl at the rock show She said what And I told her that I didn't know She's so cool Gonna sneak in through her window Everything's better when she's around I can't wait 'til her parents go out of town I fell in love with the girl at the rock show With the girl at the rock show With the girl at the rock show I'll never forget tonight (With the girl at the rock show) I'll never forget tonight (With the girl at the rock show) I'll never forget tonight (With the girl at the rock show) I'll never forget tonight (With the girl at the rock show) I'll never forget tonight (With the girl at the rock show) I'll never forget tonight posted by Down the rabbit hole we go. at Saturday, May 17, 2003
life sucks part 2.
its 10am in the morning what am i doing up so early? stupid training got cancelled and now i can't go back to sleep. i feel fatigued from yesterday's game yes but i didn't do much at all, no one ever gave me e chance to run the ball and i dun see the point in running the ball off the pick and go you'll just get smacked for no gain at all. stupid backs don't like to give the ball to runners coming in from deep. always pass to the guys in shallow positions... what the shit..... i don't know lar fucking hell rugby is becoming stale and no fun. give me a chance to run the ball. give me the chance you won't regret it. that's the reason why e coach put me in anyway cause i can make an impact when running....and don't wait till you're caught and can't pass before trying to pass..... -sian-...hope for a better game against SAJC..that is if i get to play... you know who are the players i really admire in this team? its the players with attitude. i came here because i thought chinese high lacked attitude players. players with attitude like tziyang and justin lum and yeow kuan. yeah the 3 of them. especially tziyang i don't understand why ray doesn't want to start him he really picks the whole team up. his mad ranting and sarcastic comments never fail to induce laughter and strike fear in the hearts of opponents. SA...SA...they're next...i just hope when i get on e field tziyang is on it..if i even get on e field that is....i'm scared of what happens next year when they're gone will there be anyone to pick up from where they left off and step into their shoes? i hope so. i'll try. i was talking to ian about how united our team is. and well we kind of agree that it isn't very united. as in when we go for dinner its always that same group of people. and to say the truth the other chinese high guys are not very bonded to the team in fact the seniors cannot stand them. *shrug* i don't know lar maybe cause we don't do many teams together as a team *shrug* i don't know lar. we can make it better for our year at least. as in like when the season ends we should do more things together as a j1 team..like play lan or play pool n watch movies n stuff... ok i know discrimination cannot be helped at times but lets keep it to a minimum k? -sigh- anyway i think i'm screwed for my academics. i have 2 essays that are due real soon and i haven't gotten down to doing them. i think i won't go to school again tomorrow. stay home to do at least one of the essays. *shrug* i still owe the UN essay group my part of the presentation. this is just getting on my nerves. its just so demanding. i wonder how i'll survive i just want the season and the term to go away....-sigh- but then it would mean that i'm giving up hope. what will the seniors think? its their last year sigh i'll just fight on and see how it goes. -bleah- posted by Down the rabbit hole we go. at Wednesday, May 14, 2003
life sucks.
its clear for everyone to see. my classmates sense my hostility towards them. but its not a hostility towards them its hostility towards the life i lead. a life where i - the owner of it has no say in what he would like to do. hardly any to say the least. no it transcends beyond rugby and into school life itself. i didn't get to play much against CJC yesterday, fair enough. but maybe its times like these that i don't feel part of anything. no i don't feel part of my class cause they don't understand me well not all of em but most of em at least. no i don't want to go to school. i hate the oppression of the classroom of the imposed thoughts and arcane english. i don't know. i am slowly losing interest in work and in life. losing grip. i want a very hard session of physical exertion soon. i need to release the stress within me. sigh. why do i go to school? can't find many reasons nowadays maybe its for the chance to catch a glimpse of her face and e chance to talk to her for that short span of 1 or 2 minutes. maybe maybe 1 day i'll ask for her number. just maybe. but maybe i'm not good enough to even do that. maybe what's going in is my lack of self confidence and belief. i don't feel i'm good enough for anything. i need to get fitter, i need the chance to read more, i need freedom to live life the way i want to, i need the type of friends that were always there in secondary school. demanding me. -sigh- run/swim/run that's best way cardiovascular workout the best way to make myself so tired that i have no choice but to sleep. i want to do that but where do i find e time ? SAT I - my ticket out of this godforsaken land - i need the time to study for it i just can't find it. what am i suppose to do ? -sigh- i just hope this term passes quickly. Matchbox 20 - Unwell All day staring at the ceiling Making friends with shadows on my wall All night hearing voices telling me That I should get some sleep Because tomorrow might be good for something Hold on Feeling like I'm headed for a breakdown And I don't know why [Chorus] But I'm not crazy, I'm just a little unwell I know right now you can't tell But stay awhile and maybe then you'll see A different side of me I'm not crazy, I'm just a little impaired I know right now you don't care But soon enough you're gonna think of me And how I used to be...me I'm talking to myself in public Dodging glances on the train And I know, I know they've all been talking about me I can hear them whisper And it makes me think there must be something wrong with me Out of all the hours thinking Somehow I've lost my mind [Chorus] But I'm not crazy, I'm just a little unwell I know right now you can't tell But stay awhile and maybe then you'll see A different side of me I'm not crazy, I'm just a little impaired I know right now you don't care But soon enough you're gonna think of me And how I used to be I've been talking in my sleep Pretty soon they'll come to get me Yeah, they're taking me away [Chorus] But I'm not crazy, I'm just a little unwell I know right now you can't tell But stay awhile and maybe then you'll see A different side of me I'm not crazy, I'm just a little impaired I know right now you don't care But soon enough you're gonna think of me And how I used to be Yeah, how I used to be How I used to be Well, I'm just a little unwell How I used to be How I used to be I'm just a little unwell posted by Down the rabbit hole we go. at Sunday, May 11, 2003
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