the chilly wind blew past. rain drops the size of pearls began falling. they ran down his forehead, his arms and his gleaming broadsword that was thrust into the ground. blood and tears mixed with rain to form a bitter tasting cocktail. his eyes were shut tight in meditation as images flashed through his mind. were they memories, mere hallucinations or insights into the future? past intertwined with future, there seemed to be no seperating the two. there were cuts that penetrated his chainmail armour in several places, reminders of the many battles in recent times. some had healed while others continued flowing . the pain however never seems to faze him. it had already been imbued into his existance. without pain everything else just couldn't be worth remembering. looking for revenge, for glory, for his friends he left behind..ultimately his true one. the battles have made him jaded and jacked but he still clings on to hope fervently. the hope of a coming release.


his eyes flash wide open. veins throbbing with blood. those eyes glistened with anger, frustration, hurt and desire. devil or angel? he wonders which he is more akin to. there just seems to be too many facades for anyone to really see through the shifting shields he erects to protect his soul and mind from scrutiny. only a few will be able to pierce the complex defensive barriers to understand who he really is. with a great effort, he yanks out the broadsword and walks off into the cold icy day. searching. finding. hoping.

posted by Down the rabbit hole we go. at Saturday, October 25, 2003

just got off the phone with a friend. dejection. rejection. pained expressions. *shrug* i just didn't know how to console him. wasting a year of his life repeating a fucking JC year. i don't know what to say man, the system is just so unfair...so academically based that it makes me sick. i just hope i won't be seeing more of these kind of sentiments next week. it would be more fun seeing full time muggers dying for scholarships miss out on S papers than see your friends facing the prospect of retention. i'm evil BUT WHAT THE FUCK CAN YOU DO ABOUT IT ? i've seen it so many times this year. from my own experience, experiences of seniors, juniors and friends alike. i'm utterly disgusted. especially since i can't help but find myself living in different worlds at the same time. think that's why i decided to V the class today. just very tired of their elite world. 10 months of that is enough. i'm pissed off. i don't want to go for anymore lessons for the rest of the year. i've seen enough of the fucked up classroom. what i need is some fresh air and a breathing space. hanging out with the guys provides a nice cushion of relaxtion during these times. think i'll go to school just to play touch do weights talk cock and maybe go out with em. fuck lessons. and fuck my promo grades. after all they don't really matter anymore. i tried...if its good enough den so be it...if it ain't then whatever. i don't really care anymore.

posted by Down the rabbit hole we go. at Friday, October 24, 2003

Of my sent that shooting star
On his way to who know's where (On his way to who know's where)
He's a one like all the stars (ooh)
But he outshines out there (shines out there)
And the solitary star (solitary star)
Is an awful lot like me (ooh)
On an endless search through time and space
Far a place that won't seem wrong (place that won't seem wrong)
Boyzone - Shooting Star

posted by Down the rabbit hole we go. at Thursday, October 23, 2003

well open house is over and so is our feast at Brekz. i guess today was quite fun, talked to the juniors and checked out next year's batch. can see slight traits of the seniors in the juniors but i'm keeping my fingers crossed. can't wait for training to start. it'll be tough. but it'll be fun. lookin foward to the team being more than just the 11 or 12 of us. its important that i shared with zac and the others the various aspects of the humanities prog. in rjc...hahaz let them make their own choice. well it goes: its either you become nice and happy like alvin cause he never gets caught breaking rules or assfucked day in day out like me. J I B A I ... need i say more? hahaz. apart from that i came up with a mental list of all the nice things out there. ahz pretty good stuff.

posted by Down the rabbit hole we go. at Thursday, October 23, 2003

things are steadily getting better. finished PW report yesterday...my grp was great without fongpeng who is the most useless shit on this planet. ..hope i won't see her till next year. STUPID BITCH...watched underworld with jx and nikhil yesterday its woah...way cool man...its just so out of this world. always dark and rainy, evil lurking in every corner. sounds like a world for me. think i can thrive on that. kate beckinsale is damn cool too, very different from her love-struck character in Pearl harbour. what can i say? is life getting better or what?

today was super physical day. took a run in the morning before breakfast/lunch in sch. played touch. did weights and played more touch. i mean this is the life manz. school doesn't get much better than this. i really gotta note that ruggers are real lazy pigs haha...our board is like...oh well come for open house and you'll realize how cock it is. rock on guys. i would like to extend a FUCK to handball in advance because tomorrow the netball court is for us to play touch!!!!!!!! i mean what the hell there isn't even a handball cca! plus like so many people play touch..its not just us ruggers...some of the hockey guys and soccer guys play too! if only life was this good everyday.

Santa Monica
But on the telephone line I am anyone
I am anything I want to be
I could be a super model or Norman Mailer
And you wouldn't know the difference
On the telephone line, I am any height
I am any age I want to be
I could be a caped crusader, or space invader
And you wouldn't know the difference
Or would you?


posted by Down the rabbit hole we go. at Wednesday, October 22, 2003

'Cuz we lost it all
Nothing lasts forever
I'm sorry
I can't be perfect
Now it's just too late and
We can't go back
I'm sorry
I can't be perfect

simple plan - perfect

posted by Down the rabbit hole we go. at Monday, October 20, 2003