do you believe in fate ? if you do then you'll come to accept that people come and go because fate dictates so. no its not a cruel joke, its more like a chance for the relationship to grow, to be tested. maybe its a coincidence of sorts that i was at the airport this morning at around 1am to pick up my mum's friend. as the car whizzed towards the gargantuan terminals i just couldn't help but remember that day in august.....and my friend that left. now another friend will be going soon, not my 'brother' not my 'tong dang' like cat and my 'kor' but still a friend. we weren't that super close but still i wish you well, spread your wings and fly, chase the dreams you seek.

the memory of all the times we spent together continues to play in my head. especially when i'm with bee diyan and all our other sec4 classmates. i still continue to hold on to the past, to the memories. but i have to embrace the future. luckily for me both now and then i've made friends --- friends that will motivate me, friends that will fight to the death with me, friends that will laugh with me, friends who inspire me, friends who help me to hang on, friends who remind me of the what is best in our common past and what better things to come.

seperation is but a test of time, something human feeling is able to overcome. looking at my mum and her friend i just sort of realize that true friends no matter where they are, even if they're 20,000 miles away in Cedar Rapids, Iowa you're still friends. with the rapid globalization we're facing, its highly likely that this will be the kind of scenario i'll be living with... but at that time...one thing doesn't change... true friends remain friends...so even if you're thousands of miles away in Indianna or maybe closer by in Australia...we'll still meet again and we'll find someway to just return back to the way things was before. small shit is right. we should count our blessings. friendship is like diamonds they are molded and polished by time. by tests.

posted by Down the rabbit hole we go. at Friday, October 03, 2003

another wasted day...6 days and counting to doomsday. lookin on the bright side i'm more prepared than i was in sec3 hahahz...then i failed 1 subject... think i'll pass all this time...hope so........*cross fingers*... library again tomorrow.... pls......make it productive...

by the way someone just came online.....seeing that person online is as good as seeing him/her in person somehow makes me want to extend a nice warm "fuck you". irritating piece of shit.

posted by Down the rabbit hole we go. at Friday, October 03, 2003

upon walking out of the library, "wah it feels like we just came back from Holland or something and now we're going to collect our luggage." i can't remember who said that hahaz but what can i say today was fun and productive. studied at woodlands library with raihan manvin nikhil siva n terence. studying with them just takes the stress away cause we're all so relac. the jubilation of finally slamming the covers on Nuclear Arms Race was a personal triumph for me. you know why?firstly i never attended a single lecture or tutorial on the topic ( think they finished lecturing it today) and i still managed to understand and self teach myself everything. secondly it means that i'm done with international history! hahahaz. if there's one subject that i like and really have interest in its gotta be history. bring on the ICBMs and SS-20s and Pershing IIs man! UGM-133 Trident IIs? SS-N-20 Sturgeon? no problem man. I CAN DIG IT. wonder if i should take history S......but i don't want a scholarship...at least not a government one....work hard work hard... get the grades first then say... don't be like em, those who only know how to dream. with the grades and the cca record, things will settle themselves easily. now just dig the promos. good luck all ma friends out there, we're all going to at least promote with 4 subs.

posted by Down the rabbit hole we go. at Thursday, October 02, 2003

they say when something goes wrong it all comes together. i lost my gloves today. now that's the small problem. something worse cropped up. i seriously have to hand it to myself, a betrayer and a promise breaker. what can i say? the intentions of doing it? well i question whether it is good or bad but it seriously doesn't matter. what matters is that i failed to keep my word. maybe i'm suffering from the family illness, of being unable to find people i can trust. but then again the proliferation would mean that i AM someone that cannot be trusted. i...i...didn't keep my word...will you forgive me? i guess not i expect not. it IS my fault. will sorry help? i doubt it. -sigh- to trust or not to trust? who to trust? i don't trust myself and the outside world.

posted by Down the rabbit hole we go. at Wednesday, October 01, 2003

i just came home from playing lan with diyan n khoon liat now how's that sound for someone who has last than a week to go till the promotional exams? maybe we're all royally screwed. *shrug* i hope not. just email-ed cat. really miss him. i can imagine the shit he'll tell us if he were here. sighz. life really is different without him around isn't it? and i'm beginning to understand the results of the colorquiz. its time to stop giving fuck about the system and what it constitutes and live life the way i deem fit. no not a life of sin/vice/evil(-ing) neither a strict disciplinarian life. but one of balance, one where i can be me. not the nasty son of a bitch that just seems to grow on me this year.

posted by Down the rabbit hole we go. at Sunday, September 28, 2003